Barbie's Juice Party with RJ

Since we took our juicer for a test run, we have had lots of discussion.  The WHOLE bunch of kale was too much.  It made us have nasty burps and well...  Let's just say RJ almost got kicked out of bed.  Shoo!  We all felt full and had energy all afternoon, but just felt like there is a way to make the juice taste and digest better.  RJ has told me serveral times that he thinks he is more of a fruit drinker.  This man doesn't eat fruit.  Then again, he doesn't eat kale or tomatoes either.  So, I started reading recipes to figure out how I was going to get him to drink the veggies as well as the fruit. 

I decided I was going to have to make 2 juices, mine and his. 

His:
1/2 C Spinach
3/4 Medium Grapefruit
2 Carrots
7 Strawberries
7 Blackberries
Paused for taste test:
Well, it was very tart from the grapefruit.  I shouldn't have used so much.  I will adjust that next time.  Plus, this made a huge amount of juice, enough for both of us.  I had to make this sweeter for him.
Added:
3 Yellow Apples

After tasting it again, I decided it was pretty good and poured his serving over ice.  He tasted it, really liked it and drank the whole cup!

Hers: (Not what I had planned, but considering all of the juice left from his, I had to adjust)
I took 8oz of His and added
2 Celery Stalks w/ Leaves
1/2 Cup Spinach
1 Carrot
7 Blackberries
7 Strawberries
1 Apple

Again, I had a massive amount of juice.

 

   

It was delicious too!  I drank a full glass and was so full.  I stored the rest in a glass for LML's snack.  We will let her be the final taste test judge.

This is the juice in front compared to the pulp on the left.  This thing extracts all the moisture!

 

 

This particular juicer works great and is very quite.  It does take a bit of clean-up though.  I think it takes about 10 minutes to break it all down, get the extra pulp out and clean all the pieces.  It is worth it though.

 

We officially start the juice fast tomorrow.  So, I gotta go...there's a donut in the kitchen calling my name. 

 

Enjoy the Juice!

LYMI!



 

 



 



Reality Barbie is on the Juice

Watch the movie "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and you'll be on a Juice too.  We watched, we researched juicers, we ordered ours, made a trip to the grocery store and here we are, planning our 7 day juice fast...

But wait, shouldn't we take this thing for a test spin to make sure...well, you know...that we can stand to drink it.  Better yet, that we know how to use this contraption.  Why, yes, we should.

Read the directions first...skipped this step.

Use a recipe...skipped this step too.

We learned a lot from just one juicing.

Bella Juicer Pro

 

In my excitement, I grabbed what I thought we needed for the juice.  KP and I assembled the juicer, turned that sucker on and became juice pros (not so much).  We decided we should juice for all three of us at once.  When doing so, you must make sure you have sufficient tools to catch all of that juice.   We learn quick.

 

Pulp

 

 

We have heard that Kale is a great base for a really healthy juice, so I put in a bunch of it...a WHOLE bunch.  I thought it was a small bunch at the grocery store.  I almost bought two just in case.  Then we added 4 tomatoes.  We stopped briefly to unstop the pulp output.  Then we continued with apples, juicing a little bit on the counter because we had moved our juice catcher...ok, it was a lot.  Next was the oranges.  We poured all of this into a huge bowl as we went because the juice  catcher wasn't big enough for all of the stuff we put through it.  Then we stirred it up, added a small amount of kosher salt and divided it into three  cups.

 

Ok, I'm gonna be honest.  It wasn't delicious.  But it wasn't terrible either.  Having read some of the recipes on www.juicingwithjoe.com, I realize that I went just a smidge overboard with the kale.  That small bunch we bought is now looking like a lot of kale. 

 

Big Green Bowl

 

My empty cup...forgot to take a pic of the juice

 

RJ "enjoying" his juice

 

KP and RJ both drank all of theirs and said it tasted like a salad turned into juice.  I guess that's not too bad.  I think he may have added a few grays to that beard just trying it.  I was proud of him.

 

This is the list of items the newbies used for the first juice...we will be more efficient from now on:

 

Kale

4 Tomatoes

2 Oranges

4 Apples

Sea Salt

Water

2 Qt jars

Colander

Big Green Bowl

Funnel

Scraper

3 Cups

Juicer and all of it's parts

 

Whew!

 

So, there is a learning curve to juicing.  I think we made most of our mistakes in the first try.  Despite that, we have decided we are starting a 7 day juice fast tomorrow.  I am looking forward to it.  I hope we do so well on it that we continue well past the 7 days.

 

Here's to the Juice!

 

LYMI!

 

 

 

Just One More Bite...

That's a cute kitchen, right? I didn't play with Barbies as a child, but I am sure many children have had a great time playing with Barbie and her plastic, tasteless sticker food. I, on the other hand, have a blast with REAL food. I am quite comfortable in the kitchen. I am confident that my abilities in the kitchen have added more reality to this Barbie. What? I ain't ashamed! Check it out...you won't be either.

 

 

Salmon (no silent "L") Hush puppies I cooked last night.  Yummy!

 

The finished meal... Salmon Hush puppies, Sauteed Spinach and Smashed Butternut Squash.

 

 

Homemade Biscuits just like Momma used to make!

 

Buttered and topped with Homemade ORGANIC Apple Butter.

 

 

Beef Stew I made from left over Rump Roast, Rice, Gravy, Stock and a bunch of veggies.  Best I ever made too.

 

One of my healthier meals...Fried Basmati Rice w/ Organic Eggs, Spinach and Stewed Cabbage.

 

I can see this is going to take more than one blog...

 

One of my family's favorites!  Meatloaf (without any gross chunks or whole boiled eggs...that is nasty) atop buttery smashed taters and stewed cabbage.  Mmmm Mmmm Good!

 

Fried Pork Chops with Creamed Spinach and Lima Beans.  All southern cooks must know how to cook some variation of this meal before saying the can cook!

 

Other Southern Staples:

Potato Salad

Potato Candy

Coconut Pies

Spaghetti...yes, southern women know how to throw down some spaghetti.

 

 

I love to cook healthy meals too.  In fact, the healthier, the better.  Cooking with all Organic ingredients is fun and makes me feel like I have done well for myself and my family when I serve it up.  I haven't had any of these healthy meals thrown back at me, so I'm thinking the family has enjoyed them...or they endured them,which I can't believe.  They are quite vocal about what they like and what they don't.  If you sat through one meal, home cooked or at a restaurant, you would think I have a family of food critics taking notes for their next column in the newspaper.  It does challenge me!

 

Here's to the healthy stuffs...Three variations of the Stir Fry Vegies I make.  I start with coconut oil, onions, garlic, grape tomatoes and basmati rice.  From there, I use a plethora of veggies...whatever I have a hankering to cook, or what is in the fridge.  I use it all.  It always turns out balish...I use sea salt, black pepper and vary my spices.

 

Did I mention that I often eat this for breakfast as well.  I crave it and could eat it for all three meals.

 

That is all for now...I will post more food pics later as this blog has gotten quite long.  I do have recipes for all of these dishes...and I don't mind sharing.

 

BTW, did I mention that these:

Were fried in COCONUT OIL!  SOOOO good for you.  If you don't know about it's benefits yet, please google it.  You will love it!

 

 

 

BARBIE, EAT YOUR HEART OUT...NONE OF MY FOOD IS PLASTIC, FAKE OR STICKERS.  :-)

 

 God bless you with fantastic meals on the table and awesome, sexy cooks in the kitchen.  Don't forget to tell RJ just how blessed he is!!!!

 

LYMI!  K, Bye...

 

Sometimes, Reality Blows!

I don't like spraying my husband's greasy clothes with Shout before I wash them.  I do it because I love him and I want him to look clean when he arrives at work.  I don't do it often though.  He usually has to Shout and wash his own clothes.  I know, I'm a horrible person!   Today, I did spray them and let them soak a while before I washed them.  Why?  Because he is always good to me and loves me even though he knows I hate his dirty work clothes.  Plastic Barbie Doll will never experience that in her Plastic Barbie Doll world.  I'm sure her reality never blows.

I hate stairs. I don't mind going down them, but I can't stand going up them.  I have fallen down more than my fair share of them.

I once broke my foot by falling off of the sidewalk.  Sadly, no alcohol was involved but there were witnesses...who were customers because this happened at work, at the front door to the showroom.  I was embarrassed.

Worse, I once broke my wrist riding bumper boats.  I know, hard to believe.  My bff loves to tell that story...also embarrassing.

My refrigerator looks like a war zone inside it.  Nothing is neatly stacked, mostly just pushed in and the door shut quickly.  Makes it tricky for the next person to open. :-)

I use baby powder everyday.  I'm chubby...I need it.  This makes for a nice layer of powder dust on everything in or near my bathroom.  I clean it up often, but it comes right back.  My room looks like I haven't dusted in years.  Well, actually, just weeks. I don't like it, but I deal.  I wonder how RJ feels about it...

I can't pick paint colors to save my life.  I once had to tell the Mexicans painting my house to quit because the front side of it looked so bad my neighbors were stopping by to complain.  Our Youth Minister's son said it looked like "God puked on the house!"  We had to start over.  RJ picked the colors.

I love to cook and I'm good at it.  Sometimes, I make mistakes.  I recently turned the easiest pie recipe on the face of the earth into a terrible disaster that made RJ sick for a whole day.  It was gross and he still ate it so he didn't hurt my feelings.  That folks, is LOVE! (or stupidity???)

Other cooking failures over the years:  1.  First cornbread muffins...so hard you could have used them as weapons.  2.  First roast beef...tough as leather and the dog wouldn't eat it.  3. First pancakes were deceivingly pretty and pathetically disgusting.  RJ can crack you up telling you about my kitchen failures.  But I have conquered all of these items and so much more in our 27 years together. Just ask my kids.

I once sucked on a Zycam stick bc I though it was a sucker and you were supposed to use it that way.  I wasn't drunk, so I have no idea what I was thinking sucking on a q-tip with nasty tasting medicine on it.

My car broke down in a parking lot when I was 20.  I had jumper cables, so I was carrying them around asking people if they would "jack me off!"  A nice gentleman approached me and said "do you need a jump?"  It was only then that I realized the error of my question.  I was embarrassed.

As smart as I am, I have to say...I have done some entertainingly stoopid things in my young life.  I share them publicly and wear the badge proudly.  I call this my "Patti-ness."  I get that from Owen Wilson's character in that movie where he lives with his best friend and best friend's wife bc he's a screw up and can't get his life together.  In the end he does get it together and calls his stories his "-ness."  I have a friend that calls it my "Patti-isms" and shares them with her clients to get them to laugh.  She loves me.

I laugh at myself...a lot.  I'm entertaining.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my failures.  We all have them don't we?  It is ok.  You laughed or thought (maybe even said out loud) how stoopid I am.  That's ok too.  Truth is, if you're one of the 2 people who read this, you know that none of these silly stories define who I am.  Sometimes, my reality does blow, but I don't let it steal my joy,  faith or love.  Maybe you can take a look at your "-ness" and see just how great you are.  Laugh at your failures and disappointments.  Kick the bs to the curb.  Only let the good things define who you are. 

"I am who God says I am.  God says I am perfectly made, designed to be exactly who I am, exactly where I am.  I am who God says I am."

LYMI!

Even Barbie Has a Best Friend

Actually, according to the Internet (where everything is factual!), Barbie has had at least two best friends (Teresa and Midge).  Sounds familiar, right?  I mean, friends come and go throughout our lives.  That's just how it is...accept it! Of course, there is the one your Momma warned you about that ends up being your "best NOT friend."  We've all had them.  We've all been glad to see them go...good riddance!   There's the one(s) that you get along great with and enjoy having around when you see them.  There are the ones that call you friend, but you don't really make THAT connection with...we'll call them our "fair weather" friends.  Then there's the one you feel so blessed to have around you.  The one you tell your secrets to...well, not all of them.  The one that picks you up when you fall, after they stop laughing.  The one that really gets you and still calls you friend.  I'm not talking about "the love of your life" kind of friend here.  That's a blog for another day!  I'm talking about a girlfriend, in a platonic sense, that is your ONE FRIEND for LIFE.  (Note: I say ONE because the majority of people are lucky to have that.  A person who has more than one is definitely in the minority, or confused!)

I have had a "Teresa" and a "Midge."  Well, I still have my "Midge."  I call her that because she was Barbie's first best friend and has therefore been her friend the longest.  "Teresa," on the other hand is no longer in my life and after much soul searching, I am glad about it.  She was not so much the "good riddance" kind of friend I mentioned, but the "I am not playing this silly high school game with you anymore" kind of friend. My life is better now that I can say she is a former friend.  On the other hand, I feel BLESSED to have my "Midge."  We have been friends since I was 11...yes, that is a LOOOOONG time!  (32 years!!!!)

"Midge," is my life long, God given best friend.  We have been through a lot together.  She has blessed my life in ways she will never know and in ways she is very aware of.  Starting at the beginning, she's been my teammate, confidant, drinking buddy, match maker, lunch partner, sanity provider, etc...  We have caused trouble, played, fought, caused trouble, started fires, put out fires, birthed babies, caused trouble, cooked 5 star meals, laughed, cried, cussed, caused trouble, shopped, lost touch, rescued one another, grieved together, cut corn...I can't possibly name it all.  It has been life molding and adventurous to call her friend. 

Recently, "Midge" and I have walked through a fire together (one of our many), that has reminded me what a wonderful woman she is.  It has been difficulty.  We have cried and cussed.  We have prayed, talked and been silent.  It has been hard.  It reminded me, yet again of this:

"Midge," you are my hero! You inspire me.  You are strength.  You are the complete definition of "Mother."  You are love.  You are fantastic.  You are everything it means to be a daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend.  I am thankful to God for you everyday...thankful I can call you my "Midge"...my FOREVER BEST FRIEND.  Love you, mean it Girl!

May God bless each and every person with a "Midge!"

Happy Plastic People

"Happy Plastic People" is part of a lyric from a Casting Crowns Song.  As I was thinking about Barbie this morning, I realized that she is a happy plastic "person" (doll).  She is always smiling, right.  But the song isn't referring to molded BPA plastic dolls.  It is referring to believers who are going through the motions, not sharing their reality, hoping no one will see through the facade.  That's pretty heavy stuff.  This led me to think about prayer and how God sees through the facade, to who we really are:  through the "plastic" to the core of our reality.  There is such comfort in that.  Every single person on the face of the earth has this available to them...a relationship where all of the muck is stripped away to the simplicity of the real you and it is okay to let Him in.  There is no fear of Him using that to hurt, mock or destroy you.  You don't have to worry about His feelings for you changing or weather He will still like you.  There is no judgement in that place.  Instead, there is a true Friend who loves you just the way He made you.  Amazing!

So, I profess to anyone who wants to read about it that I am not perfect, but I am perfectly made.  I mess up, make mistakes, fail, have secrets and insecurities, hide my pain and regret my sin.  Thank God that He sees through the facade to the real me...and loves me, not in spite of it, but because of it.

Today, I am happy I am human and not a "Happy Plastic" doll.  She doesn't get to experience the awesomeness of a life as a believer, beloved by the One True God.  Today, I am glad I am not living in a "Barbie Doll World!"

God Bless you!

Positives

Most of the time, comparing ourselves to Barbie is...well...negative.  I am not skinny like her, I don't have big boobies like her, I can't walk in high heels like her, yada yada yada.  But, I wanna get real here!  Shes plastic! I mean, sure she is portrayed as having a perfect body, health, life, career(s), man, etc... but, in REALITY, she would want to be more like me.  If plastic could think and talk, she'd tell you that despite the not so skinny frame, the sagging...well, never mind that one, the not so high heels and such, my life looks more appealing than hers.

For starters, I am sure she spent the weekend naked, in the bottom of the closet with body parts detached.  Don't you just hate it when that happens!  I am sure she would rather have spent her time like I did...chasing, feeding, changing, singing to, rocking, pinching, smacking and laughing at my grand babies.  Barbie doesn't get to do that.  How sad for her.

Yes, my house was a t-total wreck.  Yes, there was pbj squished on my hardwood floor.  Yes, I smacked Moo's fanny a hundred times for climbing upon and sitting in the middle of the dining table.  Yes, they cried, screamed, spit and occasionally stunk.  I wouldn't trade any one's idea of a perfect "Barbie World" life for the chaos that graces my house when the family visits.  In all of that overwhelming mess, I find perfection.

A place where waist size, shoe preference, clean floors and serenity do not matter.  Chunk smiles and coos at me, Moo sits in my lap to sing and rock, Kimb destroys the kitchen while cooking, Leah retreats to the peace of her bedroom and RJ does his best to survive it all.  That is my place of perfection.  Life would be lonely without these blessings God has bestowed upon me.  I am so thankful for it all.




I am thinking that a weekend with my man, bbg's and gbbg's (baby girls / grand baby girls) is way more perfect than laying naked in the bottom of a closet under all of the toys and dirty clothes with an arm missing...or worse.  So, Barbie can have her doll world and I will keep my REALITY.