Just One More Bite...

That's a cute kitchen, right? I didn't play with Barbies as a child, but I am sure many children have had a great time playing with Barbie and her plastic, tasteless sticker food. I, on the other hand, have a blast with REAL food. I am quite comfortable in the kitchen. I am confident that my abilities in the kitchen have added more reality to this Barbie. What? I ain't ashamed! Check it out...you won't be either.

 

 

Salmon (no silent "L") Hush puppies I cooked last night.  Yummy!

 

The finished meal... Salmon Hush puppies, Sauteed Spinach and Smashed Butternut Squash.

 

 

Homemade Biscuits just like Momma used to make!

 

Buttered and topped with Homemade ORGANIC Apple Butter.

 

 

Beef Stew I made from left over Rump Roast, Rice, Gravy, Stock and a bunch of veggies.  Best I ever made too.

 

One of my healthier meals...Fried Basmati Rice w/ Organic Eggs, Spinach and Stewed Cabbage.

 

I can see this is going to take more than one blog...

 

One of my family's favorites!  Meatloaf (without any gross chunks or whole boiled eggs...that is nasty) atop buttery smashed taters and stewed cabbage.  Mmmm Mmmm Good!

 

Fried Pork Chops with Creamed Spinach and Lima Beans.  All southern cooks must know how to cook some variation of this meal before saying the can cook!

 

Other Southern Staples:

Potato Salad

Potato Candy

Coconut Pies

Spaghetti...yes, southern women know how to throw down some spaghetti.

 

 

I love to cook healthy meals too.  In fact, the healthier, the better.  Cooking with all Organic ingredients is fun and makes me feel like I have done well for myself and my family when I serve it up.  I haven't had any of these healthy meals thrown back at me, so I'm thinking the family has enjoyed them...or they endured them,which I can't believe.  They are quite vocal about what they like and what they don't.  If you sat through one meal, home cooked or at a restaurant, you would think I have a family of food critics taking notes for their next column in the newspaper.  It does challenge me!

 

Here's to the healthy stuffs...Three variations of the Stir Fry Vegies I make.  I start with coconut oil, onions, garlic, grape tomatoes and basmati rice.  From there, I use a plethora of veggies...whatever I have a hankering to cook, or what is in the fridge.  I use it all.  It always turns out balish...I use sea salt, black pepper and vary my spices.

 

Did I mention that I often eat this for breakfast as well.  I crave it and could eat it for all three meals.

 

That is all for now...I will post more food pics later as this blog has gotten quite long.  I do have recipes for all of these dishes...and I don't mind sharing.

 

BTW, did I mention that these:

Were fried in COCONUT OIL!  SOOOO good for you.  If you don't know about it's benefits yet, please google it.  You will love it!

 

 

 

BARBIE, EAT YOUR HEART OUT...NONE OF MY FOOD IS PLASTIC, FAKE OR STICKERS.  :-)

 

 God bless you with fantastic meals on the table and awesome, sexy cooks in the kitchen.  Don't forget to tell RJ just how blessed he is!!!!

 

LYMI!  K, Bye...

 

Sometimes, Reality Blows!

I don't like spraying my husband's greasy clothes with Shout before I wash them.  I do it because I love him and I want him to look clean when he arrives at work.  I don't do it often though.  He usually has to Shout and wash his own clothes.  I know, I'm a horrible person!   Today, I did spray them and let them soak a while before I washed them.  Why?  Because he is always good to me and loves me even though he knows I hate his dirty work clothes.  Plastic Barbie Doll will never experience that in her Plastic Barbie Doll world.  I'm sure her reality never blows.

I hate stairs. I don't mind going down them, but I can't stand going up them.  I have fallen down more than my fair share of them.

I once broke my foot by falling off of the sidewalk.  Sadly, no alcohol was involved but there were witnesses...who were customers because this happened at work, at the front door to the showroom.  I was embarrassed.

Worse, I once broke my wrist riding bumper boats.  I know, hard to believe.  My bff loves to tell that story...also embarrassing.

My refrigerator looks like a war zone inside it.  Nothing is neatly stacked, mostly just pushed in and the door shut quickly.  Makes it tricky for the next person to open. :-)

I use baby powder everyday.  I'm chubby...I need it.  This makes for a nice layer of powder dust on everything in or near my bathroom.  I clean it up often, but it comes right back.  My room looks like I haven't dusted in years.  Well, actually, just weeks. I don't like it, but I deal.  I wonder how RJ feels about it...

I can't pick paint colors to save my life.  I once had to tell the Mexicans painting my house to quit because the front side of it looked so bad my neighbors were stopping by to complain.  Our Youth Minister's son said it looked like "God puked on the house!"  We had to start over.  RJ picked the colors.

I love to cook and I'm good at it.  Sometimes, I make mistakes.  I recently turned the easiest pie recipe on the face of the earth into a terrible disaster that made RJ sick for a whole day.  It was gross and he still ate it so he didn't hurt my feelings.  That folks, is LOVE! (or stupidity???)

Other cooking failures over the years:  1.  First cornbread muffins...so hard you could have used them as weapons.  2.  First roast beef...tough as leather and the dog wouldn't eat it.  3. First pancakes were deceivingly pretty and pathetically disgusting.  RJ can crack you up telling you about my kitchen failures.  But I have conquered all of these items and so much more in our 27 years together. Just ask my kids.

I once sucked on a Zycam stick bc I though it was a sucker and you were supposed to use it that way.  I wasn't drunk, so I have no idea what I was thinking sucking on a q-tip with nasty tasting medicine on it.

My car broke down in a parking lot when I was 20.  I had jumper cables, so I was carrying them around asking people if they would "jack me off!"  A nice gentleman approached me and said "do you need a jump?"  It was only then that I realized the error of my question.  I was embarrassed.

As smart as I am, I have to say...I have done some entertainingly stoopid things in my young life.  I share them publicly and wear the badge proudly.  I call this my "Patti-ness."  I get that from Owen Wilson's character in that movie where he lives with his best friend and best friend's wife bc he's a screw up and can't get his life together.  In the end he does get it together and calls his stories his "-ness."  I have a friend that calls it my "Patti-isms" and shares them with her clients to get them to laugh.  She loves me.

I laugh at myself...a lot.  I'm entertaining.  I hope you enjoyed reading about my failures.  We all have them don't we?  It is ok.  You laughed or thought (maybe even said out loud) how stoopid I am.  That's ok too.  Truth is, if you're one of the 2 people who read this, you know that none of these silly stories define who I am.  Sometimes, my reality does blow, but I don't let it steal my joy,  faith or love.  Maybe you can take a look at your "-ness" and see just how great you are.  Laugh at your failures and disappointments.  Kick the bs to the curb.  Only let the good things define who you are. 

"I am who God says I am.  God says I am perfectly made, designed to be exactly who I am, exactly where I am.  I am who God says I am."

LYMI!

Even Barbie Has a Best Friend

Actually, according to the Internet (where everything is factual!), Barbie has had at least two best friends (Teresa and Midge).  Sounds familiar, right?  I mean, friends come and go throughout our lives.  That's just how it is...accept it! Of course, there is the one your Momma warned you about that ends up being your "best NOT friend."  We've all had them.  We've all been glad to see them go...good riddance!   There's the one(s) that you get along great with and enjoy having around when you see them.  There are the ones that call you friend, but you don't really make THAT connection with...we'll call them our "fair weather" friends.  Then there's the one you feel so blessed to have around you.  The one you tell your secrets to...well, not all of them.  The one that picks you up when you fall, after they stop laughing.  The one that really gets you and still calls you friend.  I'm not talking about "the love of your life" kind of friend here.  That's a blog for another day!  I'm talking about a girlfriend, in a platonic sense, that is your ONE FRIEND for LIFE.  (Note: I say ONE because the majority of people are lucky to have that.  A person who has more than one is definitely in the minority, or confused!)

I have had a "Teresa" and a "Midge."  Well, I still have my "Midge."  I call her that because she was Barbie's first best friend and has therefore been her friend the longest.  "Teresa," on the other hand is no longer in my life and after much soul searching, I am glad about it.  She was not so much the "good riddance" kind of friend I mentioned, but the "I am not playing this silly high school game with you anymore" kind of friend. My life is better now that I can say she is a former friend.  On the other hand, I feel BLESSED to have my "Midge."  We have been friends since I was 11...yes, that is a LOOOOONG time!  (32 years!!!!)

"Midge," is my life long, God given best friend.  We have been through a lot together.  She has blessed my life in ways she will never know and in ways she is very aware of.  Starting at the beginning, she's been my teammate, confidant, drinking buddy, match maker, lunch partner, sanity provider, etc...  We have caused trouble, played, fought, caused trouble, started fires, put out fires, birthed babies, caused trouble, cooked 5 star meals, laughed, cried, cussed, caused trouble, shopped, lost touch, rescued one another, grieved together, cut corn...I can't possibly name it all.  It has been life molding and adventurous to call her friend. 

Recently, "Midge" and I have walked through a fire together (one of our many), that has reminded me what a wonderful woman she is.  It has been difficulty.  We have cried and cussed.  We have prayed, talked and been silent.  It has been hard.  It reminded me, yet again of this:

"Midge," you are my hero! You inspire me.  You are strength.  You are the complete definition of "Mother."  You are love.  You are fantastic.  You are everything it means to be a daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend.  I am thankful to God for you everyday...thankful I can call you my "Midge"...my FOREVER BEST FRIEND.  Love you, mean it Girl!

May God bless each and every person with a "Midge!"

Happy Plastic People

"Happy Plastic People" is part of a lyric from a Casting Crowns Song.  As I was thinking about Barbie this morning, I realized that she is a happy plastic "person" (doll).  She is always smiling, right.  But the song isn't referring to molded BPA plastic dolls.  It is referring to believers who are going through the motions, not sharing their reality, hoping no one will see through the facade.  That's pretty heavy stuff.  This led me to think about prayer and how God sees through the facade, to who we really are:  through the "plastic" to the core of our reality.  There is such comfort in that.  Every single person on the face of the earth has this available to them...a relationship where all of the muck is stripped away to the simplicity of the real you and it is okay to let Him in.  There is no fear of Him using that to hurt, mock or destroy you.  You don't have to worry about His feelings for you changing or weather He will still like you.  There is no judgement in that place.  Instead, there is a true Friend who loves you just the way He made you.  Amazing!

So, I profess to anyone who wants to read about it that I am not perfect, but I am perfectly made.  I mess up, make mistakes, fail, have secrets and insecurities, hide my pain and regret my sin.  Thank God that He sees through the facade to the real me...and loves me, not in spite of it, but because of it.

Today, I am happy I am human and not a "Happy Plastic" doll.  She doesn't get to experience the awesomeness of a life as a believer, beloved by the One True God.  Today, I am glad I am not living in a "Barbie Doll World!"

God Bless you!

In the beginning...of this blog!

Life happens at an alarming rate.  How did I get here?  When did this happen?  Is this how it is always going to be?  Boy, this is not what I planned and certainly not what I dreamed...This, my friend, is REALITY!


I am no Barbie Doll Girl and this is definitely NOT a Barbie Doll World.  I mean, really!  What woman is born with a "perfect" figure, never ages, never sags, never wrinkles, has a handsome man fawning over her every breath and can do, be, have anything she wants without so much as a chipped nail?  Bull malarkey!

I am a real woman, in the real world.  I am aging (gracefully), overweight, sagging, have A wrinkle, work my fanny off just to make ends meet, can't grow my nails without acrylic help and my man is working so hard to make life better that it mostly just passes us by.

My life is good.  My marriage is STRONG.  My figure is round.  My friends are fantastic.  My family is the bomb!  That fake piece of plastic named Barbie ain't got nothing on me.

I love God, the Hubbs, my girls and grand girls and pretty much everyone unless they've given me reason "to not to."  There are only a few of the latter...for a much later post.  I've been married for nearly 25 years now.  Sometimes it has been hard, but it has always been solid, strong, committed and monogamous.  I have a handgun, I know how to use it, he stays faithful.  I have two daughters who warm my heart and keep me grounded.    The first of which has blessed me with two beautiful grand babies and the second of which was hard to come by, but that's also a story for a later post. I have three really good friends and am thankful the number is that high.  I take I Cor 13:13 seriously, because the greatest thing in the world is LOVE.  Therefore, I love almost everyone.  It is not my fault some people have made themselves unlovable.  Sometimes I'm too serious.  I cuss.  I overeat.  I am strong, physically, mentally, but not emotionally.  I have a temper and I cuss...did I say that already?  Like a sailor!  I get that from my fabulous (sarcasm) dad, who will definitely be the subject of later posts.

 

So, the name "Reality Barbie" came to me in a conversation with a friend who is a personal trainer.  Everyone wants everyone to lose weight, eat differently and fit into this little box of looking healthy means you are healthy.   But the reality is looking like Barbie does not a healthy person make.  After all, she is plastic and probably contains BPA.  Yuk!  Barbie seemingly has the perfect life, doesn't she?  Who wouldn't want to be her?  Who wouldn't want to have a "Ken?"  Who wouldn't want to have the biggest boobs enhanced by a tiny waist and bodacious hips?  Well, I will raise my hand.  I wouldn't trade my life, man, body for hers.  My life is a stark contrast to hers.  Isn't every one's?  Oh, the numerous ways Barb and I are different.  I am going to enjoy pointing out the error of that "perfect" girl's way.





My hope is that you will find humor, support, honesty and maybe realize that you are ok...no, better than ok...you are the perfect you... by reading my blog about my reality.  I am REALITY Barbie.

 

(Grand Baby #1)